Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Letter From My Inner Asshole Child

Dear Shawn

   So you just finished a 18 month film degree. Then you were stupid enough to go back for a Bachelor degree in Entertainment Business directly after that. To make things worse you are a complete slacker who turns in your homework late if you turn it in at all. So this is your self intervention. And no it’s not crazy for you to do this, no matter what other people say. So just tell those voices in your head to shove it.
    First things first can you stop being a slacker. Believe it or not it hurts you much more then you think. Every time you do something half ass, it ends up making me feel bad. You are capable of so much with your life, but you let your ADDHD (Yes it’s a real thing.) get in the way. SO STOP IT JACK ASS.
    Now let’s talk about those things you want accomplish in life. You the whole want to be this this and that stuff.  You need to start writing and film more things. I know you get tired of trying to outline all of the screen plays and failed novel ideas. News flash when the hell did you ever actually outline something when you wrote in your younger years you never did that. You would freestyle write and come up with the weirdest, awesome, stories that are worth money in your business endeavors today. You remember Second Sight you wrote and then threw away. Get back on that boy.
   Another thing you need to work on is your health. The extra weight you are carrying around on your body is really dangerous. You have a family history of Diabetes. If you keep this up you are going to have it, along with a missing foot and a not so sexy Hover Round, because your gonna be too fat to walk on a prosthetic leg. Plus you know you want to dress better, and it’s hard to buy a suit for someone as short as you, and someone as round as you are.
    Speaking of dressing better you need to start dressing better. It’s Kind of embarrassing that you don’t have many grown man clothes. You talk about being grown man sexy well can you dress like a grown man one in a while. Every time we have a class presentation you’re the only person wearing a shirt with some sort of graphic on the front, or even the back of the shirt. You can’t look grown man sexy with a purple Daniel Bryan shirt on. His catch phrase is “Yes, Yes, Yes”, your walking around with a damn orgasm on your damn chest. Trust me it’s not as sexy as it sounds.
   Now I bet you feel like crap after this whole letter. I would say sorry, but c’mon you know it’s not true. I’m glad you feel like crap; so now you can get off your ass and actually do something abut your short coming.

                                                                             Sadly You’re Inner Child
                                                                                    Shawn Luster